A Comic Epic Poem in Prose

Last night, I dreamt that it was the morning of the wedding, and the bridesmaid dresses still had not come in, so I took two of my bridesmaids and went to a warehouse owned by Lucius Malfoy (this year's hot new designer!) to search for them. We looked through floors and floors of dresses without any luck, and finally, I went back to the manager (who had by now just transformed into the less fearsome Jason Isaacs) to complain about it. He assured me they could sew something together in time for the wedding, so I returned to my hotel room, where my parents were lounging around. I asked them if they were going to get ready, and they told me that they had decided to attend their high school reunion that day instead (hahaha wut).

I glanced at the clock and noticed that it was already time to take pictures, even though I hadn't gotten my hair or make-up done yet. Then I realized I hadn't even booked a hair or make-up artist, so I started making frantic phone calls to random people, but the phone kept getting picked up by some weird preppy singing schoolboy (don't ask). At this point, the bridesmaid dresses arrived, and they were this silvery metallic abomination, compliments of Jason Isaacs. My brain kicked in at this point and I said aloud, "This HAS to be a dream. Too much stuff is happening!" and I ordered my sister to pinch me (this part was weird...I have never asked anyone to pinch me before, even when I knew it was a dream). She did, and nothing happened, but I still somehow used that as evidence to conclusively prove it was a dream and ended it on the spot.

If only I always had that much power in my dreams!

Wee Kirk o' the Heather is the cutest name for a church ever.

VINNY: I wonder if there was a wedding coordination office for anyone who wanted to get married on the Death Star.



Nerd. ♥