I HATE PEDESTRIANS

[lawofar18]

So do people just have suicidal tendencies these days? Do they desire to be run over? What possesses these travelers on foot – commonly known as “pedestrians” – to run into incoming traffic with the heedless blissfulness of a brainless zombie?

It’s only morning, and I’ve already run across three of them. Well, run across as in the expression, although my car physically running across their flailing bodies was a near possibility. I’m driving down a very busy major street, and this businessman in a suit suddenly dashes out into the middle of the road -- right in front of my car, which is going at about 50mph. Now, really, couldn’t he have afforded to walk the extra few feet to the stoplight? Barring that, couldn’t he have picked a better time to dash madly into the street? Say, when there were no cars? Didn’t his parents ever teach him not to run across the street? Apparently, it matters not. All the world must bow to him, and all the traffic must stop for him.

Then, I’m about to turn left when I actually have a left-turn arrow flashing green at me, which of course means that the street I’m turning into has a distinctive red hand mark waving its warnings to those who wish to cross. But never mind that, what do those silly little hands know anyway? An old man just starts to strut across the street ON RED LIGHT which means I have to brake awkwardly in the middle of the intersection to avoid running his wrinkled arse over.

Then if that weren’t enough, I get ready to turn right on the next street, when Man-in-short-shorts on a bike rides halfway into the street and STOPS. Which means if I turn right, I will completely flatten his skinny little body, his stupidly short shorts, and the heap of junk metal that is his bike. Not only that, but people coming from the other direction have to swerve into the next lane because he’s just freakin’ parked in the middle of the bloody lane! When I’m late to work, the last thing I want to stop for is some moron-in-short-shorts standing cluelessly in the middle of the lane. No, honking and frantic waving of arms have no effect.

Next time you see a dumb pedestrian, do the world a favor. Crush their sorry, blissfully unaware bodies, and the world will be a better place. Except for you, of course, who will be in jail.

Damn this country’s laws.

X-posted to chvo

Comments

[rosehiptea.livejournal.com]

When I see this I can never quite forget we live in the same place. WTF is up with people these days? They just walk right into the damn street!

Not just people with obvious problems (I saw a blind guy who obviously had other problems too lie down in the street once and had to call 911) but people who apparently just think they own the damn world and all the damn cars.

I walk too, used to walk only, and I looked at the lights; it's not that hard.

[lawofar18.livejournal.com]

No! And if you're colorblind, then don't walk at all, or get a dog to do it for you! ARGH