I am hungry

[lawofar18]

There are these two cats that I pass by on the way to work, and I swear they talk about me. Every day, without fail, I walk by them and wave ridiculously like an old lady who thinks her pets can understand her. They stare at me unblinkingly until I pass on by, then turn to each other with a knowing glance. I can feel their derision trailing after me.

They did that again today, but I didn't have time to call them on it because I was extremely late for work. Traffic was at its most vindictive. Bastards. I dashed into the elevator and crashed headlong into a portly man who smelled of tobacco.

It was all very pleasant.

Now I crave seaweed, dammit.